Saturday, April 5, 2008

Books on Stillbirth

I have always been an avid reader. I have well over a thousand books in my personal library at home and I visit my local library at least once a week. It has never let me down until now. Where are the books that will talk to me about stillbirth? Where are the good books on grief?

I believe that knowledge is power. I am looking for reassurance, I am looking for answers. I know I wont find answers to why my son died in books. But I am hoping to find some sort of reassurance, some form of coping mechanisms.

So my friends who have asked me repeatedly to tell them what they can do to help me at this time, find me books. Once I have got what I can from them I plan to pass them on to someone else who can use them. Second hand books are great. If you come across any, please, please pick them up for me. I know I have been terrible at replying to your phone calls and emails. I will get there, I assure you. Your continued love means the world to me, and I cant wait to see you all again. I went back to work for my first day steps right?

Online friends - can you refer me to any books you have found that helped you out?


Amy said...

A suggestion for a book,
"Empty Craddle, Broken Heart" It's a good one, sad but it helps with the grief of losing a child. Give it a shot. I'd send you mine but, I am stingy when it comes to books! Hang in there...the pain will ease a bit.

Thinking of you and Caden today.

Anonymous said...

I've just found your blog and can't tell you how sorry I am. He looks beautiful. Take care

Olive Lucy said...

brooke & kim can you access the book list on Fullterm loss blog?

i own many of the titles there but mst of them our lent out at the moment.

but if you can find life touches life or Finger nail moon i would recommend both.

big hugs.

c. said...

Caden is so beautiful, Brooke. I am deeply sorry for loss. So. Very. Much.

As for books, I have only found one book on stillbirth to be helpful at all. Not a how-to (which I find most books to be), but a memoir of a stillbirth as told by the mother. Life Touches Life by Lorraine Ash. Her story is heartfelt and touching, it brought me to tears (and self-awareness) over and over and over again. If you cannot find it where you are, I would be happy to send it to you.

I wish you all the best as you walk this path of grief and sorrow.

CLC said...

I agree with c. that Life Touches Life has been the best one I have read so far. Also, I thought "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" by Harold Kushner was good too. It has religious overtones, but it's not trying to push any religion. It's just this man's interpretation of the question why me and God. It's about loss in general, and not exclusive to stillbirth.

Jack's Mommy said...

Thinking of you! I had two friends send me books that helped them or someone they know. Both are of a religious nature. "Always Precious in Our Memory" by Kristen Johnson Ingram and "Grieving the Child I Never Knew" by Kathe Wunnenberg. Both are of a devotional nature - but I use them more to focus on what feeling I am dealing with the most that day - anger, guilt, the questions... Sending love your way.

loribeth said...

All the above are great suggestions. To which I would add (off the top of my head) "A Silent Sorrow" by Ingrid Kohn & Perry Lynn Moffit (along the same lines as "Empty Cradle"). Another beautiful memoir is "Shadow Child" by Beth Powning. I have a whole collection at home, but these are some of the best.

What a beautiful little boy. I am so sorry you have had to join tis sisterhood of sorrow. :( (((hugs)))

Mrs. Spit said...

It's a short one, and you may have gotten it at the hospital, but Mr. Spit and I liked "When Hello Means Good-bye". I'm not sure if you have a partner, but if so, there is a companion book for men called "Strong and Tender". Mr. Spit found it helpful, as there are very, very few books for men.

I'm so sorry that you had to join this group. It's a horrible place to be.

Cara said...

Brooke - Caden is gorgeous. I just found you through blogher and I was struck by your post. I am currently writing a book on the stillbirth experience and the healing truths I found along the way.

Grrr - but I wish I could direct you to a shelf, but the editors are less convinced that people will want this type of book. Reading your post gives me heart that just one publisher might have the strengh to take a risk and see just how many people are looking for this.

So sorry for your precious lost baby. I look forward to reading your story from the beginning.


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