Friday, May 29, 2009

Our Three Boys

Well it has been an awfully long time.
There is, however, a very good reason for my absence.

Little Bear arrived on the 7th March after what felt like a very long, and painful pregnancy. I was fortunate to have a great OB who agreed to induce at 36 weeks and our little man arrived weighing 8lbs 3oz.

He is an absolute joy, but has been occupying most of my time lately! Especially as he has had trouble gaining weight - he has just reached 10lb at 11 weeks old.

But he is a happy baby, smiling and laughing at us (when he feels like it).

I can hear you asking "since when was she pregnant??" lol. Well, to be honest we told so few people that some people IRL didnt even know that I was expecting. We only told family and close friends at 26 weeks, and others after he was born! We just didnt want to talk about it at all, it was all just so hard after losing Caden, we talked about it, about him, non stop while I was pregnant, but if anyone asked me anything I gave a short answer and walked away. Pregnancy was just such a shit time for us, always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

But it is all over now and we have a joyful, tiny bear with us now.

Plus, this space was always for Caden, and Caden alone. It didnt feel right to talk about my pregnancy here. But I have met so many wonderful people through my blog and I wanted to share this with you.

I still think of Caden, but not with the frequency I once did. I still miss him, but have stopped going to the cemetary every week. I have been once since Little Bear was born. I bought him some Easter decorations but never made it out to the cemetary.

LB doesnt take Caden's place, but the hurt has eased a little, I wont lie.
It feels like this is the way it was always supposed to be. Our three boys. Just one of them only had a short time on earth with us, and now he flies with the stars.

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