Friday, January 9, 2009


It has been awhile.
The fact is, like I said, I feel like I have run out of things to say. I've had a few nights of random tears but other than has marched on.
Christmas wasn't as hard as i thought. There were moments where I thought about where we were a year ago and how certain we were that the next year there would be a baby around. There were moments where I really felt him missing...but I was kept so busy with organising Christmas Lunch at our house and renovating the kitchen in time for it - well I just didn't really have any space left in my thoughts for dwelling on what might have been.

We went out to see Caden on Christmas Eve with my mum and took him some little gifts. A white reindeer with red and white striped ribbon (our theme this year was red/white candy stripes) - identical reindeer sat on the lunch table the next day. Kim bought him a little red snowglobe, and I got him a little white wooden train. My mum bought the two garden stakes in the second photo.

There was only one moment where he was brought up on Christmas, when Kims little cousin was reading her Christmas card (we sign off with all our names) and says "who's Caden?"
*cue dead silence* and me pretending I didnt hear her because while it didnt bother me in the slightest (we dont see her often and she wasnt at the funeral or anything) I knew that her mother (who was at the funeral) would be mortified and terrified that she had upset me!

No-one gave him any presents - which I kind of expected - like I've said before, I'm fairly sure everyone thinks we are "over it" because we aren't falling in a big messy heap - and it's one of those things people are eager to "put behind them" and never talk about again....

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