Saturday, December 20, 2008

I want to write more often but I have hit a wall.

The past week has been particularly hard - crying myself to sleep again. I'm not too stupid to realise that a lot of it probably has to do with facing the holidays without Caden. I have been putting off going out to the cemetary though. We have a little Caden corner in our lounge room that I add things too - but Im too scared to leave stuff at the cemetary again. I do have a few things I need to take out though - but I dont want to go out on Xmas day because I know the cemetary will be packed with people and I'm not down with grief in public.

I have been considering my options lately though...and i think I want to have him cremated. I know it sounds wierd to exhume him and cremate him now - but I just do not feel that he is safe out there, all alone, with creepy people stealing his toys. It makes me sick. So that is what I will be investigating in the new year. Sorry if that creeps you out. Not my intention.

6 comments:

K77 said...

Cremation sounds like a good plan.

Thinking of you at this emotional and difficult time.

Kristi said...

I don't think it sounds creepy at all. I think you need to what will help you guys feel more secure and at peace with where he is.

All my love...

justcallmesamma said...

its not creepy to me at all. You do what you feel in your heart is best.
keep your chin up beautiful.

c. said...

This idea is not creepy at all. YOu are just trying to keep him safe. I understand this.

k@lakly said...

Sounds like something a loving mother would do for her child, what's creepy about that?
xxoo

Chris said...

First I am so sorry for the loss of Caden , our family has just suffered the loss of a child , my brothers first baby Bella, this is a nightmare for you and all the other families.
You do what you need to do , my niece will be cremated so that she can be at home with her mom and dad where they want her , I think it makes complete sense .
My thoughts are with you .
Chris

 

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