I want to write more often but I have hit a wall.
The past week has been particularly hard - crying myself to sleep again. I'm not too stupid to realise that a lot of it probably has to do with facing the holidays without Caden. I have been putting off going out to the cemetary though. We have a little Caden corner in our lounge room that I add things too - but Im too scared to leave stuff at the cemetary again. I do have a few things I need to take out though - but I dont want to go out on Xmas day because I know the cemetary will be packed with people and I'm not down with grief in public.
I have been considering my options lately though...and i think I want to have him cremated. I know it sounds wierd to exhume him and cremate him now - but I just do not feel that he is safe out there, all alone, with creepy people stealing his toys. It makes me sick. So that is what I will be investigating in the new year. Sorry if that creeps you out. Not my intention.
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The Life of Caden
- July 8th 2007 - we found out we were expecting
- July 21st 2007 - our first ultrasound - it's a Speck!
- Sept 8th 2007 - our second ultrasound - look at you jump!
- Oct 17th 2007 - ultrasound - you were so small
- Oct 30th 2007 - another ultrasound - still so small. and you have a cyst on your brain. they keep saying it's nothing to worry about
- Dec 1st 2007 - we started buying the big things - it was so exciting
- Dec 25th 2007 - your first Christmas. you were spoiled
- Jan 2008 - we finally named you - our little Caden James
- Feb 15th 2008 - spent the night at the hospital. they said nothing is wrong
- Feb 23rd 2008 - planned baby shower - but we cancelled it
- Feb 26th 2008 - you died
- Feb 27th 2008 - you were born. 37 weeks - 3lb 7oz - 37cm long
- March 5th 2008 - we buried you
- March 30th 2008 - we had your memorial party
- Forever - we will love you
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6 comments:
Cremation sounds like a good plan.
Thinking of you at this emotional and difficult time.
I don't think it sounds creepy at all. I think you need to what will help you guys feel more secure and at peace with where he is.
All my love...
its not creepy to me at all. You do what you feel in your heart is best.
keep your chin up beautiful.
This idea is not creepy at all. YOu are just trying to keep him safe. I understand this.
Sounds like something a loving mother would do for her child, what's creepy about that?
xxoo
First I am so sorry for the loss of Caden , our family has just suffered the loss of a child , my brothers first baby Bella, this is a nightmare for you and all the other families.
You do what you need to do , my niece will be cremated so that she can be at home with her mom and dad where they want her , I think it makes complete sense .
My thoughts are with you .
Chris
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